Writing to You

I have always been a writer, since I can remember I have developed a bond with a pen and pad that could never be broken. My silent thoughts spilled out on what use to be a blank sheet of paper. The things I could not say, or wanted to say but didn't know how, sat perfectly on those thin lines. I often would look over my thoughts and wonder where is the magic when I am trying to say these things, because I am totally opposite when presented the opportunity to say whats on my mind. I freeze, all intellect is gone, and I can feel the burning dislike in myself for not saying what the heck is hurting me, makes me feel great, when need to explain my ideas. I choke.
Whenever I needed to express my admiration for someone I wrote it in a letter, when I needed to release my emotions, I wrote poetry,when essays where given out I leaped with joy while others cringe at the thought of writing another 6 page essay.I was thinking how was I going to stop writing at 6 pages.  Journal writings, diary letters, you name it, it was a source of comfort for me  and the only way knew ow to speak.
I have been since I was a child haunted with a dream for years, simply not having a voice, I scream, I try with my hardest to talk, but nothing ever comes out. Just a mute girl wishing to be able to say whats on my mind. I'm 29 years old and I still have this dream. I don't know what it all means ut I can only tell you nothing is more taunting them not being able to voice your thoughts.
So I guess that is why I lean to creating, the freedom to express yourself with words, colors, music, and dance.  I may not be able to tell you why I love you verbally, but I could with a song, with a poem, or with colors.  I may nt be able to express whats going on in my head, but if you take a look at my poetry and feel the words, you'll be able to see the picture I painted for you with words. These are my words, and I want to share them with you.